Planes Aren't Real

You are wasting your money going on international flights. Planes don't actually take you anywhere. When you take a flight, a very talented stage crew constructs the area you're "landing" in.

When you're taking "international flights", you're actually not going anywhere. Why do you think layovers and flights are so long for you to go overseas? The answer is simple: that's how long it takes them to rearrange and construct the area you're going to be in.

There is a large team of stage designers and construction workers that work around the clock to ensure that the stage is set by the time you "land". When planes take off, they just get hoisted up by a huge crane that passes by a huge, cube-shaped green screen room to give off the illusion that you're actually going somewhere.

The only time that planes "crash" is when passengers discover the secret of international flight and the operators running this charade have no problem releasing the plane from the crane and eradicating all passengers on board to keep their dark secret. That's why you'll never catch me on an international flight. If you choose to do so, keep your eyes closed and play along. Don't risk the lives of your fellow passengers. The pilots are actors with pre-recorded lines on the intercom. The second they sit down in the cockpit, they blast Avril Lavigne and get wasted until the show is over. That's why you never see the pilots when the plane lands, they're absolutely knackered and passed out in front.

Andrew Niccol, screenwriter for The Truman Show, was able to elude to the fact that we're all trapped in a World's Stage created by our shadow government architects. There are many running theories about the cause of this farce, but do not listen to those who make claims that they are doing this to protect us from alien invaders while an intergalactic war rages to maintain the illusion of a status quo.

The real cause is that we're all "actors" on a reality show for our lizardmen (those sexists) overlords. They love seeing us run around, living our dumb little lives.

Don't give up on making it out of our cage.

Just remember, no matter what, on a flight, keep your eyes down and your mouth shut. Don't make trouble for yourself and others on the flight.